Redemption
by Lorna Grace
Summary: I'm taking a look at Regina's road to redemption. Takes place after Season 3 finale but does not including the arrival of Elsa. My first fanfic and first part of this story. Please review good bad or ugly and let me know if I should continue with this.
1. Chapter 1

Redemption

_Hell is yourself and the only redemption is when a person puts himself aside to feel deeply for another person._

**_Tennessee Williams_**

"Hey Regina, come in" Snow embraced the woman who was once a bitter foe as family, they had come so far. "Good afternoon. Snow...I eh I have something for you dear." Regina placed her bag on the table and sifted through it until she placed a hand on the small black velvet box with a tiny red bow. Regina was trying, she knew she could never take away the things that she had done as the 'Evil Queen' but if these people were willing to forgive and move past the hurt and anger she had to do the same. There was so much loss and pain on both sides nothing is ever black and white Regina knew that better than most. God her internal struggle all those years ago is proof of that. She was good once she had love in her heart she was only now beginning to allow herself the smallest amount of hope that she could get back to the person she once was and have a life that was worth living.

"Regina thank you, you shouldn't have...can I open it now?" Snow was visibly happy at receiving a gift, especially from Regina.

"It's just a small token dear don't over excite yourself! Of course you can open it now." Regina rolled her eyes as was always her way in recent times using her humour to mask any of the emotions that she was only now permitting herself to feel for Snow White!

Regina removed her coat and moved with Snow to sit down on the Sofa in the apartment so the younger woman could open her gift. Regina and Snow had been working together for the past few months and weeks running the town together. Regina had been restored as Mayor but she had asked Snow to stand with her and they could both run the Towns official business together. This was a welcome partnership for Snow who was the first to admit that running the town had been far more of a challenge than she was expecting. Regina knew what she was doing and like it or not Storybrooke did thrive for 28 years under her 'rule'.

"Oh!" she gasped her eyes immediately filled with tears she couldn't even try to supress them.

"Regina...I, I don't know what to say. I can't believe you are giving this to me. I can't accept it; it means so much to you."

Regina placed a hand on Snows forearm. "Listen to me and listen carefully, I want you to have this. I know we are working through things and the past is the past but you have to know something about this necklace. It represents the love I felt for Daniel yes but it also reminds me of the love I had for you before the darkness and the evil had taken hold.

Regina moved closer to Snow and had covered the younger woman's hands with her own. Snow lifted her tear filled eyes to meet with Regina's. She tried to speak but there were no words, nothing that she could say to express the feelings that were in danger of consuming her.

"Snow I didn't mean to upset you I just wanted to give you something that was good between us. I wanted to thank you for what you did for me three weeks ago. Do you remember the day you first saw this necklace? We had such a lovely day it was the only day that I truly smiled and allowed myself to feel something after Daniel died. I saw a future with you as your mother, I was wrestling with so many emotions and the anger was all consuming but for a few hours that day I let you in. I fixed your hair let you borrow my jewellery we gossiped and played...I let go" Regina's voice was thick with emotion as she spoke of this memory. That day was the last time she allowed herself to feel anything but hatred for Snow White. Her life was at a crossroads and that was the day she chose the darkness.

"Regina this means so much to me. All I ever wanted was your love growing up. I'm so truly sorry for what happened to Daniel I just wish so much that life had been different for both of us. We have to forgive each other we have to move past this all and let all of our hearts love again."

Regina moved closer to Snow and wrapped her in warm embrace holding on to her like she would never let go. Tears fell freely from both of them neither one wanting to let go of the other, it wasn't until the quite cry of a new-born baby filled the apartment that the woman broke contact.

"Let me go get him" Regina gently brushed the tears from Snows face before going too attended to little Prince Neal.

As Snow slipped to the bathroom to wash up and compose herself, Regina made her way to fetch the newest addition to the Charming family. She still couldn't get passed how much the little boy looked like Henry it was frightening. It brought her right back to best days of her life bringing up that precious little boy. She always knew that supressing her feelings would be her ultimate downfall and now that she was allowing love back in to her life she was finally realising true happiness. How different everything would have been had she been willing to accept it when offered to her so long ago. This road to redemption, to a happy ending had been a long one and who would have ever thought that Regina could find it with Snow White as a friend instead of a bitter foe.

As Regina cradled the tiny boy in her arms rocking him gently she just couldn't help but smile. "Well hello there my little prince. What's all this fussing about sweetheart? I have missed your beautiful face, yes I have." The baby settled in to her arms being soothed by her voice and her embrace. "Let's go see your mama hey! Would you like that?" She swaddled the little bundle and held him close as she made her way back to Snow white.

"I think someone is hungry mama." Regina gently handed the boy over and placed a gently kiss to his forehead.

"I think I better get going now. I will see you later; you are all still coming for dinner?" Regina asked as she had one arm in her coat.

"Yes we sure are. Oh and Regina...thank you so much for the gift. I will treasure it always. I...I do love you, you know that right?" Regina crossed over the room to kneel in front of Snow who sat nursing her new-born son; she gently placed a hand on the other woman's leg. "Yes I do know that and I love you too. I am so happy we are finding our way back to each other, I will never stop being sorry for the past but we are family and you were there for me when I needed someone; it was you. You saved me from myself and if I had only allowed myself to let you save me all those years ago..." she trailed off at this point trying to compose her thoughts. She felt remorse for her actions for the pain and the hurt but she couldn't allow regret because from all the evil there was good, there was Henry how any of them could imagine a life without him was unthinkable. "Enough of this we must live for the present and for our future. One day at a time...together!" Regina stood kissed the head of the contented little prince before cupping her hand to Snows face placing gentle a kiss on her cheek.

"Oh and dear just to check before I go...you still like apples don't you?" Snow couldn't suppress a laugh. "Eh...I didn't for a long time but I think I am ready to give them another go!"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Three Weeks ago.

Zelena had been defeated and the town for the first time in three years was relatively drama free. Regina was a hero and in the eyes of most people she was working hard to redeem herself and reform. Many had expected a full blown relapse in to the dark arts upon the return of Marian; however Regina just seemed to remove herself from day to day life in Storybrooke completely.

Henry visited her every day and hoped that he would be enough to pull her from the despair she was being slowly consumed by; but he wasn't able to reason with her. He was mature beyond his years but he was still a child, her baby boy and she was not about to discuss her broken heart at the loss of her soul mate with him. She had her mommy mask firmly in place for Henry, trying not to show signs of the upset and torment currently washing over her. She was always happy to see him and spend time with him but she just couldn't face the world beyond her front door.

Robin had persisted in trying to see her but she couldn't face him. She felt sick to her stomach every single time she thought about him. What the hell could she say to him knowing that she was the one who was responsible for the death of his wife? She deserved everything that she was experiencing now. How dare she even contemplate a happy ending after every cruel and evil deed she committed in the name of vengeance? She may have changed, became a hero, hell she was even a practitioner of light magic these days; nevertheless the sins and the scars of her past would always be there. She was getting what she deserved she was finally paying her price.

"Regina, REGINA! Please come to the door and let me in. I really need to speak to you this is getting out of hand we have to talk. Please I need to know you are alright...I miss you." Robin's forehead was leaning on the door, pain etched on his face. Why did she run? Why couldn't she just open the door and let him take her in his arms again. This whole situation was a mess and he was terrified for Regina. He was having a difficult time trying to process the events of the past few days, his wife long since dead had been returned to him the same day he found out that Regina was his soul mate and as it turns out directly responsible for his wife's demise in the first place. He loved Marian deeply but he had grieved for her and let her go. It had been 30 years for him he had changed. He had finally allowed himself to move on. How was he just supposed to switch of the feelings that he had for Regina? He was truly madly in love with that infuriatingly beautiful woman in spite of everything.

Regina couldn't stand to listen to him outside banging on the door and transported herself to her vault. If she had just looked out to see him she would have seen the pain and despair that ravaged his face mirrored her own.

"Ok it's been FIVE days. Five days and no one other than Henry has been able to see of speak to her!" Snow was franticly pacing back and forth the in the living room with three sets of eyes following her.

"I'm going over there. We need to help her; this is so unfair she doesn't deserve this after everything that's happened. God even Gold got a happy ending! Emma how could you be so stupid?"

"EXCUSE ME? Are you kidding me right now? You're the original Regina life screwerupper; I guess the apple really didn't fall far from the tree did it?" Emma spat back at her mother. "I honestly had no idea who she was. I didn't set out to intentionally destroy Regina's happiness I feel terrible." Emma sighed she couldn't actually believe what she had done. She truly didn't want to be the one responsible for this. Regina had changed she had given her the most precious thing ever when she gave her a second chance with Henry and all the happy memories of a good life and now this is how she had repaid her.

"I know honey, I'm sorry I'm just upset and worried, I shouldn't have said that to you." Snows pacing had slowed and she was now walking with purpose to the door.

"Where are you going Grandma?" Henry asked.

"I need to go be with her. She needs to know her family are here for her and that we will all help her get through this. I can't turn away from her now and I won't let her push me away either. This ends today!"

"Mom are you sure this is a good idea? I think this has kinda brought some rough life ruining memories right back to the forefront. I think I should come with you. Let me grab my coa-." Snow cut Emma off before she could finish.

"No I think it would be best if I go on my own. Everything will be fine. I trust her nothing is going to happen. For once we need to show her we believe in her and that like it or not she's not alone anymore. She is a part of this family. "

As Snow exited the apartment Henry, Emma and Charming all sat in stunned silence trying to process what the hell just happened.

Snow approached the mansion with an iron will and determination. Fully aware that this could all blow up in her face and that she could quite possibly make this whole situation worse, but in weighing it all up the thought of losing Regina again was not an option and therefore there was no choice to make. She was doing exactly the right thing.

"REGINA!" Snow screamed at the top of her lungs. "Listen I'm not going anywhere so just open the door...PLEASE!" She had been there knocking solidly for 35mins, when she wasn't knocking she was shouting her step-mothers name, all attempts to initiate some sort of contact, to begin a dialogue had been met with a deafening silence.

"That's it Regina, enough is enough I'm coming in." Snow moved from the front porch checking all the windows as she went. Just as she was about to move to the back of the property she noticed the window to Henrys bedroom was open.

"Bingo! Well Bandit Snow don't fail me now!" The young woman moved over to the tree situated directly in front of her Grandsons bedroom and began to skilfully make her way up. Checking to see if the outstretched branch would take her weight she slowly lowered herself and began to swing trying to get the momentum required to close the distance between the tree and the window. On the third swing she released her grip on the branch and connected with ledge of the window. She pulled herself up and in through the window "Still got it!" she muttered to herself as she dusted down her coat and straightened her clothes.

She took a moment to compose herself before exiting Henrys room in to the unknown. As she moved down the hall she heard it...heartbreakingly painful sobbing. It was coming from Regina's room. She didn't knock and she didn't announce her presence either. The younger woman just took a deep breath and breezed confidently in to the large room and walked directly to the empty side of Regina's bed sat down and pulled her up in to her arms. Snow gently rocked back and forth running an absentminded hand through the hair of the broken woman crying in her embrace. Neither of them spoke a word, Regina offered no resistance and willingly let herself absorb the comfort Snow was offering her.

After an hour of silence Snow couldn't hold her tongue.

"Regina we don't need to talk about anything just now but we will at some point. I'm not going anywhere; I'm here as long as you need me you're not dealing with this alone."

Regina let out a slow ragged breath. "Th-thank you, I don't know why you are here? I deserve not one shred of kindness from you let alone comfort. I'm a monster Snow this misery is what I deserve." Snow filled up just hearing the pain and vulnerability in Regina's voice and quickly moved her hands to cup Regina's face, forcing her former step mother to look at her directly for the first time since she arrived.

"Regina I am here because you need your family, you need to not be alone and you need to understand that you are loved." Snow inhaled a deep breath before she continued. Regina shifted to sit up and face her and tried to create a little bit of distance but Snow kept and arm around her.

"You are not monster Regina. Look at what you did. You saved us all last week Regina with light magic. You are the strongest person I think I have ever known. Like it or not for the past year we have been there for each other and now is no exception. I know you better than you think and I know that you feel the same things I do, you just hide it beneath your sardonic banter. I know how angry you must right now. It's like we are pre-destined to destroy each other and that breaks my heart. Emma didn't do this deliberately you know? It's just my idiot gene it's strong and prominent in her." Both women let out a little laugh.

"I don't blame her" Regina mumbled the statement. "Emma I mean, I don't blame her for what she did. Tell her I'm sorry for the outburst. Old habits and all! I just thought that for once we were all getting a chance to escape the past to start to move on with our lives and begin to truly heal. Not me though no the past will always come back to bite me in the ass! I should expect nothing less. A little light magic doesn't cleanse this evil soul Snow."

"You're not evil. You have a beautiful soul, it might be a little battered around the edges by life but Regina, do not underestimate yourself and your capacity for change. You've rejected the darkness don't return to it because you feel it's all you deserve. You always deserved more." Snow gently pulled Regina closer.

The silence returned between the two women. Regina remained in Snows arms and placed her head down on her step-daughters shoulder. She was exhausted and their conversation was swimming in her mind she needed sleep to take her. She would feel better in the morning. As her breathing slowed and her eyes closed over she realised in that moment that she wasn't alone anymore.


End file.
